Here I Go Again

I just finished posting my missing entries from February of 2003.

As I'm going through them, I was originally tempted to modify them.  Nothing major, correct the occasional spelling error, update the tags to reflect my current way of tagging entries. Little things like that.

I ended up posting them as-is with the exception of the titles. I re-titled the entries, as I've been doing for all of the years that I have been shuffling these things around from one place to another, but that was it.

The reasoning behind it is fairly simple and straightforward, at least to me.  As I was reading them, I was trying to get back into the mindset that I was in twenty-three years ago.  I realize that I'm not eighteen anymore. I am living in a completely different world than I was then. But I can remember.  I can still write in the same silly, vaguely nonsensical way that I did at that time, but my current situation doesn't exactly lend itself to care free, silly prose anymore. And it was care free and silly, there are no two ways about it.  Even the stuff where I was not being exactly positive about whatever.

The things that I viewed as soul-crushing or depressing at eighteen are, at forty-two, just another day. Part of that is growing up and realizing that there is more to the world than working at a fast food restaurant (referred to in those days primarily as either Arby's or the beef repository) and what my friends thought about life, the universe and everything.

I spent a few of the intervening years living with someone that I realized I couldn't stand.  We had some interesting times together, but I really wasn't a fan of her. It took a long time to get out of that one, and I had to get really creative.  Which I regret. Not ending it, but ending it the way I did. I see now that the situation I got myself into in 2014 (and am still in), is even worse. It is also much harder to get out of.

I also left Arby's and ended up working for some people who were pretty toxic. That was, again, a snap decision based on a couple of bad days at work. While making that decision did, eventually, get me where I am today, I regret the middle part. The part where I worked there for fourteen years and most of the time I was not allowed to do the job I was hired to do was frustrating.

After I left there, I ended up where I am now. Which is both good and bad, I guess. I have met some interesting and wonderful people that I would have never intersected with, but at the same time, It's kind of dramatic.  

Granted, there are days in 2026 that I feel like the only outlet I have available is to, as they say, bitch about it in my LiveJournal.

Except I'm not. Largely in part because I feel like I need to keep this hidden from some of the people in my life. Which, in and of itself is weird. I feel like I need to hide this from people in my life, but I'm legit putting it on the internet for the entire world to see.

Why Can't We Be Friends

It appears that Gen. Y. Carville and I are friends again?

I don't know what changed, but okay. 

I Won't Give You No Money

Today I went to the park.  I took the Nikon N70 with the intent of finishing the roll that I started yesterday, and I took the Nikon N2020 with the intention of using an entire roll today.  I didn't quite accomplish that, which is fine.

I took the 2020 with one of the weirder crap lenses that I've purchased.

It is a Benoison 85mm F/1.8.

The f-stops are weird as can be. I realize that it is a "portrait" lens, and I'm probably using it wrong, but seriously?

 

There ain't no thing between f/10 and f/22. My light meter app was appalled. It also didn't give me an option to program an f/6 and one other that I don't remember in there, so I had to wing it. I was something like 2/10 of a stop off for those two.

Anyway, I think this lens makes the camera look even more like it came straight from 1986 than it already did.

I look forward to posting the highlights of the roll of film when I finally develop both this and the N70. But I'm going to have to finish this roll, and I suspect it won't happen this week.

 

• Current Location: The Land Of The Wooded Greens
• Current Mood: creative
• Current Music: The Fan

 

I Want To Be A Part Of It

This is getting a little crazy. I have several drafts of previous posts written up and ready for the media elements to be put into them.

Posts discussing cameras usually need to have the cameras themselves photographed for part of it. It is, honestly, kind of invigorating to finally be putting some of this stuff out for the world to see. Sure, most of it is buried in archives and if you don't know what you're looking for, you aren't going to find it. Which I'm weirdly okay with. 

Runnin' With The Devil

Last year I decided to focus on reading.  I set a goal of 75 books to be read in the year, and managed to get something like 82 completed.

This year, instead of spending my extra time reading, I guess I'm going to focus on my writing. More specifically not neglecting my spaces on the Blog-o-Sphere. Even more specifically, this one.

I sent myself a list last night of some things to write about this year, and have been doing some work catching up on my various photo posts from the last several years. This (yesterday at this point, I guess) morning I even went out with a camera from my eBay box of "as is" cameras, which is a post I need to find and get over here, but I digress.

Went out with my Nikon N70 and the universal Vivitar 135mm lens that I picked up a couple of years ago.  I'm pretty sure I overexposed about half the roll, but not by much. Hopefully I can correct them while scanning.

It always amuses me how it is so hard for me to use a full roll (36 exposures) of film over a 15 minute walk, but if I have a digital camera, I will end up with hundreds of pictures.

Anyway, I did get some of my photo stuff sorted out, I need to get the posts into the correct places and find the post about the camera box and get that in the right place as well.

I'm entertained by this project, and I hope to keep up the momentum I have had going this week so far. 

• Current Location: I Took It To The House
• Current Mood: lethargic
• Current Music: Silence

 

Wake Me Up When September Ends

 Okay, so I have about half of February of 2003 migrated to this space now.  All I can say is what was I thinking?

 Also, reading through my life in those days, I cannot help but wonder whatever happened to my friend who I tend to refer to in this space as "kcandthesunshineband". Wherever you are, KC, I hope you're doing well! 

I Think It's Time To Go Now

While scrolling through the very distant past of this blog, I discovered that years I previously thought were complete are actually incomplete.

It looks like everything between January 28 30 and May 16 April 26 are missing. Sorry, I just posted a couple of entries from 2003 so as to make it something like an even 20 entries that are missing.

This makes me wonder if I actually managed to snag everything from my old Diaryland site or if I missed something somewhere.

Actually, I know that I missed something. I have a link on one of the old entries that is supposed to go to a post there, but doesn't and I added a note in 2017 that I have no idea what it was supposed to say.  I guess I should probably work toward getting that restored so I can verify that I didn't miss anything.

Now for a LiveJournal throwback:

• Current Location: That place I call Home
• Current Mood: contemplative
• Current Music: Hotel California ~ The Eagles

 

Who Ya Gonna Call?

I guess I'll be a little more motivated to keep up with this one way dialogue.

I am pretty sure I have everything from 2023 through now from WordPress on here now.  I have other things from other places that still need to go up here, and I have rough outlines of things living either on paper or in my head that I need to expand upon (2025 goodreads year in review, I'm looking at you) that I need to still get up here as well.

It would be a little easier if I felt like I had more time to do any work though. 

If There's Something Strange In Your Neighborhood

Yesterday was kind of a weird day, I'm not going to lie.

I was adding something that I wrote elsewhere to this in it's proper place, and discovered that people somewhere are actually reading this thing for some reason?  

I don't know how I feel about that. Obviously, I'm putting it out there into the wild world of the internet so I'm not allowed to be annoyed or disappointed or anything, I'm just slightly curious about how people stumble across my little corner of the virtual world.

Word of mouth isn't the answer.  I said something to one person about it in the last, what? Ten years? That was something like two weeks ago (If you are one of the people reading this, feel free to let me know next time I talk to you!), and I wasn't exactly specific on how to find it.  All I said was that the title has been Every Which Way But Lucid for at least the last ten years.

This is an extremely roundabout way of saying HELLO WHOEVER YOU ARE! Feel free to drop an email or comment or something, I'd love to know something about my (presumed) audience. 

It's Like You're Always Stuck In Second Gear

Apparently, the fans of the sitcom of my life want to see the next season story arc go something along the lines of "This Inevitable Ruin" > "Damage Control" > "Rooting for Team Mexico (in, I presume, the World Cup?)"

Go figure.

I should probably actually turn my life into a sitcom.