I’ve Got A Bike You Can Ride It If You Like

My precious...
My pretty...
My precious....
No one shall have you!
Not those nasty hobbitses!
No one!!
None shall have my Key Lime Cheesecake

And The Joke’s On You

Music: Eye In The Sky ~ Alan Parsons Project

Well I've opened up my veins too many times
And the poison's in my heart and in my mind
Poison's in my bloodstream, poison's in my pride
I'm after rebellion, I'll settle for lies
Is it any wonder that my mind's on fire
Imprisoned by the thoughts of what you do
Is it any wonder that the joke's an iron
And the jokes on you
Experiments that failed too many times
Transformations that were too hard to find
Poison's in my bloodstream, poison's in my pride
I'm after rebellion, I'll settle for lies
Yes I know the secrets of the iron and mind
They're trinity acts a mineral fire
Yes I know the secrets of the circuitry mind
It's a flaming wonder telepath
Well I've opened up my veins too many times
And the poison's in my heart and in my mind
Poison's in my bloodstream, poison's in my pride
I'm after rebellion, I'll settle for lies
Is it any wonder that my mind's on fire
Imprisoned by the thoughts of what you do
Is it any wonder that the joke's an iron
And the jokes on you
And the joke's on you (repeat ad infinitum)

What Did You Bring Me To Keep Me From The Gallows Pole?

Music: Gallows Pole ~ Page & Plant

Got some Zeppelin for you

Dazed And Confused
(Page)
Been Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Lots of people talk and few of them know,
soul of a woman was created below.
You hurt and abuse tellin' all of your lies.
Run around sweet baby, Lord how they hypnotize.
Sweet little baby, I don't know where you've been.
Gonna love you baby, here I come again.
Every day I work so hard, bringin' home my hard earned pay
Try to love you baby, but you push me away.
Don't know where you're goin', only know just where you've been,
Sweet little baby, I want you again.
Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.
Take it easy baby, let them say what they will.
Will your tongue wag so much when I send you the bill?

---

Heartbreaker
(Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant)
Hey fellas, have you heard the news? You know that Annie's back in town?
It won't take long just watch and see how the fellas lay their money down.
Her style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago,
But from her eyes, a different smile like that of one who knows.
Well, it's been ten years and maybe more since I first set eyes on you.
The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue.
Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love;
But I'll just keep on rollin' along with the grace of the Lord above.
People talkin' all around 'bout the way you left me flat,
I don't care what the people say, I know where their jive is at.
One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do,
It's the way you call me by another guy's name when I try to make love to you.
I try to make love but it ain't no use.
Work so hard I couldn't unwind, get some money saved;
Abuse my love a thousand times, however hard I tried.
Heartbreaker, your time has come, can't take your evil way;
Go away, Heartbreaker.

---

Gallows Pole
(Trad. Arr. Jimmy Page)
Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while,
Think I see my friends coming, Riding a many mile.
Friends, did you get some silver?
Did you get a little gold?
What did you bring me, my dear friends, To keep me from the Gallows Pole?
What did you bring me to keep me from the Gallows Pole?
I couldn't get no silver, I couldn't get no gold,
You know that we're too damn poor to keep you from the Gallows Pole.
Hangman, hangman, hold it a little while,
I think I see my brother coming, riding a many mile.
Brother, did you get me some silver?
Did you get a little gold?
What did you bring me, my brother, to keep me from the Gallows Pole?
Brother, I brought you some silver,
I brought a little gold, I brought a little of everything
To keep you from the Gallows Pole.
Yes, I brought you to keep you from the Gallows Pole.
Hangman, hangman, turn your head awhile,
I think I see my sister coming, riding a many mile, mile, mile.
Sister, I implore you, take him by the hand,
Take him to some shady bower, save me from the wrath of this man,
Please take him, save me from the wrath of this man, man.
Hangman, hangman, upon your face a smile,
Pray tell me that I'm free to ride,
Ride for many mile, mile, mile.
Oh, yes, you got a fine sister, She warmed my blood from cold,
Brought my blood to boiling hot To keep you from the Gallows Pole,
Your brother brought me silver, Your sister warmed my soul,
But now I laugh and pull so hard And see you swinging on the Gallows Pole
Swingin' on the gallows pole!

---

Going To California
(Page/Plant)
Spent my days with a woman unkind, Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start, Going To California with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Took my chances on a big jet plane, never let them tell you that they're all the same.
The sea was red and the sky was grey, wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.
The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake
as the children of the sun began to awake.
Seems that the wrath of the Gods
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;
I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I'll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king,
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings... la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

In A World That’s Seldom Seen

Music: Kashmir ~ Page & Plant
Hope you slept well, because it's time to die!

Made Me Feel Nineteen For A While

Original Title ”Sweet Merciful Crap!”

Music: Animaniacs ~ All The Words In The English Language
Gads
Work sucks moreso than usual
I am not playing about on my usual Trillian Account. There are a few reasons for this:
1-I am not in the mood to possibly talk to some guy I know.
2-"Cowboy Bebop - The Perfect Sessions" came in today. I would not be very good company.
There was another, but I can not, for the life of me, remember what it is.
Ah well, I am feeling pretty stupid right now. In the literal "dumber than a bag of hammers" sense.
I am off to watch some television now.
Goodnight Kids
Sorry all!

Let The Anvils Ring!

irc.newnet.net
#thegreyone
It would seem that I have gotten bored and set up an IRC chat majigger for my crummy little website.
Enjoy!

Live For The Music

Original Title ”Conservation of IQ”

Conservation of IQ
The Setup
It has occurred to us that the number of idiots in the world has been rising at an unbelievable rate in recent years.
Couple that observation with this statistic: The life expectancy in many countries has risen from 54 to 63 from 1986 to 1996. In other words, people have stopped dying (or nearly so).
The Theory
Conservation of IQ
There is a finite amount of intelligence available to the sum of all people - and we have reached "World IQ Saturation".
Axiom
With each new birth, some people get a little stupider. [sic]
Until recently we had only "proof by anecdote" - that is, examples of incredibly stupid people (you wonder how some of these people figured out velcro). But you can't base a study on a few morons ("a few" is not a statistically valid sample).
The Test
Recently, (it's news as of 23-5-96) the National Science Foundation made a test of basic scientific concepts and gave it to a large number of Americans.
The results were amazing.
25% of the people surveyed got 7 or more correct. (That means 75% failed - not good)
Here's a sample of the breakdown.
How long does it take the Earth to go around the sun?
A One Day (18%)
B One Month (35%)
C One Year (47%)
53% of the people surveyed got this one wrong.
OK, thats 14% higher than you would get by guessing.
If you're really optimistic, you could count that 14% as a success. (I wouldn't)
Humans lived at the same time as the dinosaurs.
A True (52%)
B False (48%)
52% of the people surveyed got this wrong.
Now that's 2% worse than guessing.
Thats just not good no matter how you look at it.
The Conclusion
If you're one of the people who is amazed that it takes the Earth an entire year to go around the sun or that a T-Rex never consumed a human - KILL YOURSELF NOW, or there will be no more IQ points for future generations!
Thank you for your cooperation.

You Raise The Blade, You Make The Change, You Rearrange Me ‘Till I’m Sane

My most recent bit or writing is called "As Yet Unnamed - Volume 1, Part 1." I apologize for the fact that it is presently residing on a Diaryland site, but I am presently doing what works out best for me.

I will change it all over at some point in the near future. Don't worry.

If I Were To Say To You Girl We Couldn’t Get Much Higher

I have just made myself a new icon.
I am thinking about making another one. I don't yet know though.

‘Elo Kiddies

Music: The "Pinky And The Brain" Theme
How's it going?
Someone today hinted that I actually put something new in here. I reluctantly agreed. The trick is, I am currently destroying a speaker so I can fix it. Therefore, no time for creativity just yet. I will go and write a story just for you all within the next few days.
I promise. :)
So, instead of something creative, I shall just post this little thing that you will probably not enjoy reading in the slightest bit:
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.
There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day and try it. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fall to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have you attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport. If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner. This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
Bob and float, bob and float. Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!"
It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of discraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.

---

Enjoy!