Saturday, April 16, 2011

He Picks Up The Mail From The Slot

Spike
I just discovered a stack of mail that I did not realize I still had.  Most people get no kind of thrill out of opening a letter anymore because for the most part mail in letter form is something most people don't wish to receive anymore.

This stack of mail is what people sent me when I lived in South Carolina for a few months.  It's amazing some of the stuff that is in there.  Such as the letter from lovecharlie.

Such a very long time ago in some respects, not so very long ago in others.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Had A Friend She Once Told Me

Wish You Were Here
Dear The Facebook,

In some respects you are a very useful and handy thing to have at hand.

I get to talk to and in some cases suddenly see regularly people I never thought I'd see in real life again.  In some cases I suddenly get to do interesting things with interesting people in real life.  In at least one case I suddenly get to have conversations of the sort that I've missed having with said person for almost but not quite ten years.  In some cases there are people I've never met.  I've since gotten rid of most of those.

As I sit and look through photo albums of people I haven't seen for an inordinate amount of time I can't help but wonder what I ever saw in some of those people.  Some of said people have changed in ways that boggle the mind, some of those people stay exactly the same in ways that are just as mind-boggling.

Where a few people are concerned, I can't help but wonder why I didn't see some things a very, very long time ago and am kicking myself now for missing.

But such is life, such is life.

In some regards I feel like quite the stalker.

In some regards I feel perfectly justified.

Take for instance, through the magic of Facebook I am now playing a game loosely based on Scrabble over the phone with a girl that I haven't talked to since middle school, and haven't actually seen since high school.  I don't actually have her telephone number or any of that magic, but someone I do talk to gave my information to her, and now, well, I've lost two out of two games we've at this point played.

Well played...Well played.

But alas, The Facebook, your cons are also in evidence.

Take for instance your desire to let anyone who can breathe on a mirror and have it fog up join your once elite ranks.

Also...Farmville.  Really? Farmville?  I seem to remember a time when if a person wanted to farm, they could actually make (in theory) actual dollars doing it.  But now, thanks to the digital age we can sit at our computers doing things in imaginary life that we would never dream of doing in real life.

And this is not something that causes our peers to look down upon us.  Double-you tea eff, world...Double-you tea eff.

Sincerely,
Me

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Come On, Take The Money And Run!

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
http://www.fbi.gov/libref/
directors/directmain.htm


Attn: Beneficiary,

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, Dr. Philip Mogan, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Barr. Derrick Smith, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Dr. Philip Mogan, Paul Adim, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $150.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Mr. Kelvin Williams
EMAIL: kelvinwilliams2005@gmail.com
Telephone: +234_7055387367

Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM PAYMENT CENTER with your details:

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:
AGE:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information's which you'll use in making payment of $150.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
http://www.fbi.gov/libref/directors/directmain.htm


Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mrs. Loveth James of the ATM CARD CENTER who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

But If You Ask For A Rise It's No Surprise They're Giving None Away

Starbucks
The concept of money has always been a thing that has made very little sense to me.

I just have a hard time understanding the concept of a worthless piece of paper as a representation of something that is only worth something because someone wanted to impress someone else with it's shininess a very long time ago is what our economy is based off of.

Gold has no particular worth or value to me, because I don't care how shiny it is, or how rare it is.

This is why I should not be allowed to think.  I could go on and on about this, but would rather not.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I Could Use A Little Fuel Myself And We Could All Use A Little Change

Cat
So I have been unable to shake the feeling that something was going to happen today and nothing would be the same ever again.

Here I am, with fifty-one minutes left in the day and everything is still the exact same.  Never have I been so glad to have such a boring life!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Watching For Pigs On The Wing

Wooden Bender
So 2010 is nearing the end of it's run.

I am sitting here listening to Pink Floyd's 1977 album "Animals" and reflecting on that.  I am listening to the record version.  The record player is plugged into a stereo receiver.  The stereo receiver is plugged into my computer which is throwing the sounds out through the speakers that came with the stereo which was, if memory serves, new before I was born.

Sure, the tuner is way out of whack, but the 8-Track player still works.  If you jam a screwdriver in with the tape that is.

What has happened to me this year?  Met my amazing friend who I may or may not ever see again.  Don't know if she reads these or not, but hey, you know.

I got a kitten. She is the devil.
Zagreus sits inside your head
Zagreus lives among the dead
Zagreus sees you in your bed
And eats you when you're sleeping

But times, they are a 'changing. 

My pretty Jeep got trashed on the interstate by some clown whom we shall never know.  That was a not so good thing.  But these things happen.

I have been know to hang out in bars with girls who lay claims to being cage fighters.  I know it to be a mis-truth, but it would seem that patrons of the bars in question were quite thoroughly convinced to the contrary.

I am tired.  I am physically exhausted from working like there is no tomorrow, but being no better off financially then I was three years ago.  The job is going to either change in the winter time in favor of something more local.  Failing that, the job (and possibly the state I call home) is going to change in mid-summer when my lease runs out.  I haven't decided which yet, honestly.  A change is coming though.  Mark my words.

And now for side two.

What else have I done this year?

I've started reading books on a regular basis again.   I read some random paranormal romance novel.  I am ashamed to say.  I have gotten through:
The Adventures of the Stainless Steel Rat -Old favorite.
The Da Vinci Code - Most pointless waste of 600 pages I have yet read.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Makes marginally more sense than the movie.
Boneshaker - Awesome steam punk zombie book.
Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter - Amazingly well written for it's premise.
UFOs, JFK and Elvis: Conspiracy Theories You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Believe - Casts an all too intelligent light on these things.

I also bought the complete World Book Encyclopedia set...From 1967 for ten dollars.  But it came with the update books so it's accurate through 1976, so it's all good, right?

What else?

I keep buying notebooks and pens and starting to write things in them.  I've also bought some very old cameras with the intent of taking very nice pictures.  That part has gone rather well.  The writing, not so much.

I have gotten into watching the Battlestar Galactica show.  It is awesome.  Less enthused about Burn Notice this year.  It's just repeating the same old formula with a new character.  Weeds is taking some getting used to, but it's an interesting show.  Castle is amazing.  The Venture Bros. on the other hand is amazing this season.  I can not wait to see what happens next. 

Also Doctor Who.  I never thought I would get into that show, but it is amazingly amazing.

About a year ago someone I was basically told never expect to hear from again showed back up in my life.  That was a pleasant surprise.  I had a nice new friend, then she got crazy, then she left.  Still don't know what to make of that.

I really should be going now though.  I can not wait to hear the verdicts on something that may or may not happen at work on the morrow.

Just remember...Time will tell.  Sooner or later, time will tell.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Moondrops Burst

Spike
I apologize in advance for this long-winded essay wherein I seem to do nothing but gripe about my fellow citizens, but this has been in my head for a few weeks now, and I have finally figured out how to get it out, so here goes:

When did we (Americans) turn into a country filled with Muslim loathing xenophobes? 

I don't understand why lashing out everyone who shares a set of religious beliefs all because a percent of a percent of people who have those beliefs did something horrible. 

What if it had been a group of Christian white guys that day?  Would we be shunning Christians?  Would millions of Americans have converted to Islam or Judaism?  Probably not.  We would have probably decided that was horrible, but the actions of a handful of people do not represent the majority of those people.

I know some very nice, very personable, very hard working Muslim folk.  They don't like the people who did all those things any more than the rest of us do.

I finally read up on the whole Islam Culture Center project in New York, and is it just me, or is the proposed site about three blocks away from where all the drama went down?  Why is it such a big deal about where someone wants to build something.  I see the argument about how it is insensitive to the families of the victims, but isn't that just racist to hold an entire race responsible for the actions of a handful of people as mentioned before?  Especially if one of the purposes behind this building's existence is to educate people?

I realize this country has a rich history of racism, bigotry, and general hatred.  The Puritan witch hunts in the 1600's.  The Native American wars in the 1800's.  Slavery.  The Army - McCarthy Communist hearings. The equal rights movement.  Gay marriage.  I still can't believe we put Japanese-Americans in internment camps during World War 2.  It almost seems like this country needs some ethnic group to have issues with.  I do not understand that in the slightest.

Why is there an issue with two men or two women getting married?  A Church is well within their rights to have an issue with that if it goes against that particular religion's belief system, but the United States Government should not even be involved.  You should be able to, at the very least, go to the courthouse and get married there.  How does that affect me?  How does it affect the people next door?  How does it affect some completely random person in oh, let's say Wyoming, Michigan?  It's quite simple...It doesn't!  Why is there even a question of whether or not it's legal?

Is it just me, or was this country founded on the logic that everyone is equal?  Don't we as a people exist due to the fact that this country was founded by immigrants?  Yes, I realize that the international diversity starts to disappear starting with the second generation, but that is no excuse to hate on someone who came here looking for a better life.

Someone who came here looking for a better life, and did it legally.  I should say.

I am not really okay with the whole illegal immigration thing, but I will admit I have known some nice, hardworking illegal Mexicans.  We gripe about how the Mexicans are crossing the border illegally and stealing all the jobs here.  My question to you is this:  Did you apply for that job, or were you already collecting unemployment, and suddenly you have a "legit" excuse to not have that job picking tomatoes?  Did you ever have any intention of ever applying to flip burgers at McDonalds?  I hate to say it, but people will hire Mexican illegals because they WANT TO WORK.  I'll let that sink in for a moment.

I have worked with way too many people who don't want to actually do the job they get paid to do.  They feel the job is beneath them, they don't want to work the hours they are scheduled.  Some stupid excuse.  The thing is, the Mexicans (They were Chinese 150 years ago), are willing to come in on time, do the job, and do it well.  Why?  They want to be able to provide for their families.  They like the idea of being employed.

Yes, there are people I don't like, but I don't hate all Jehova's Witnesses because a few of them once came to my door and tried to sell me their religion.  There was an Indian guy on the highway this morning who almost got me killed, but I don't hate all Indian folk because of just him.  Why?  That would be crazy.  At least in my opinion.

Sorry this has jumped around so much, but what it boils down to is that I don't understand why we (have to?) hate those who are different from us.  I know it happens, but why does it happen?  Why do we care that old man Smith down the block doesn't go to church?  Why do we feel like those hippie kids two streets over that worship the oak tree in the back yard are Godless heathens?  Why are we quick to jump into our neighbors' business, but even quicker to get angry when they jump into ours?  So you have a gay couple living across the street?  You don't agree with their lifestyle but they are not hurting you, so just let them be!  Same with the Muslim family.  Chances are if you actually talk to them and get to know them, they are pretty similar to you.

I will probably clean this up at some point in the near future, but as I said, I needed to get it out of my head, so there it is.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

Starbucks

I keep seeing people along the side of the road who are holding out signs expecting people to give them money.  Problem is, they are going about it in completely the wrong way.

If you wish to beg on the side of the road as opposed to getting a real job (and be more successful), please take the following under advisement:

1.  Leave the damn Corvette at home.  Don't park your super pretty car and then stand and beg right next to it, while constantly getting inside it for whatever reason.

2.  Don't set out a $400 Coach purse for people to throw money in.  Seriously.

3.  I understand that standing and holding a sign all day on the side of the road gets boring and all, but please, don't ignore people who are trying to give you money in favor of texting your friends.

4.  If you play the "I'm disabled in some way" card and someone in a work uniform gives you money, don't  show up at that place of business totally fine.  I've had that happen to me, now I go out of my way to make that man's life difficult when I see him.

5.  Smoking is a no go!  Seriously.  Someone sees you smoking, they are going to assume that you are going to drink or smoke all your money away.

6.  If you are homeless and hungry, chances are good that not only can you not afford those pretty new clothes, but also that you have nowhere to put them when you aren't wearing them.  If you are going to fake the homelessness thing, then please please wear the same clothes if you are going to stand in the same place at the same time every day .

That is all for now.  If you can think of anything else, please feel free to add to the list.