You've Heard Words...Words To Remember

Amusing song, but some good advice too...

I had a crazy uncle that was on his deathbed a long time ago,
he said "BOY... there's a hundred things in life every man needs to know to
survive... and here's 39 of em'"

a virgin don't never drive a z-28
never bet the ranch on your prostate
if it's got an adam's apple its probably a man
never trust a gay gypsy with the palm of your hand

she didn't accidentally get good in bed
you can't join a church if your already dead
a work uniform ain't totally nude
brim and bass ain't seafood

when there's guns in the house one better be yours
don't be naked next to any fishin' lures
if there's girl scout cookies she's a little too young
if you say I do... be the ugly one

don't ever let a bald man borrow your comb
never play strip poker in a nursin' home
don't blame your pall bearers 'cause they don't show
if your buried in the middle of the super bowl

let people borrow money they'll leave you alone
never fry bacon without a shirt on
never spray water on a hornets nest
a woman rarely aces the drivers test

the sign probably don't really mean massage
never threaten anybody in camouflage
say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife
never put the move on the boss' wife

she's messin' round on ya if yer briefs don't fit
never trust a hitch-hiker to babysit
Cosmo's never in a happy home
you can't cut a deal with a kidney stone

a politician ain't got an HMO
washin' her hair means she don't wanna go
don't ridicule a biker bout' his tattoo
you been married nine times... hell maybe its you

Doom ain't the same as donkey kong
if he's wearing high heels you might've raised him wrong
the clinic ain't the best place to pick up dates
don't rent a room from a man named Bates

A tank top is never on a billionaire
Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there
how many get to heaven no one knows
but hell will be asses and elbows

and then he died... crazy fool rolled over and DIED! and never did tell me
what them other 61 things were... so if anybody out there knows... how
bout gettin' ahold of me at tim wilson dot net

• Current Music:Karma Chamelion ~ Culture Club

Zero Hour, Nine AM

Went to the Microsoft Windows Server 2008 Product launch event today in Indianapolis.  It was...Interesting.  I didn't stay for the whole thing.

They did give us some neat stuff though...

The most exciting thing, for me, was a full version of Windows Vista Ultimate

Then there was the event's namesake...The Heroes Happen Here pack (please ignore the water damage, the photos are being added in 2017, many years post apartment melting).

That includes a 1 year evaluation copy of Windows Server 2008.  Keys for both a physical version and a Virtual PC version of the software.

It also includes Visual Studio 2008.  I need to play around with it.  I'm not sure if this one is a full version or evaluation version.  Hopefully I will post on that soon. (Note:  It is 2/25/2017 and I have done exactly nothing with the Visual Studio disc yet.  But it is still on the agenda!)

It's Been A Long Lonely, Lonely Loney Time

Is it bad that I had to get my sister's Christmas gift put into the box and sealed up before I wind up staying up half the night playing Golden Eye on the N64 that I am giving to her?

Tags:

• 2007,
• okc

Some Postman Is Gonna Cry

Original Title – Mail

So I checked my mail today, for the first time this month.
There was seriously like five pounds of mail crammed in there. Worst part is, it's ALL junk, with the exception of two Verizon bills that have already been paid and a statement from my renter's insurance people telling me that I don't owe them any money for another month, and to therefore have a nice day, and a bank statement.
Four things in that whole mess. The only reason I actually checked it is because I am waiting on more checks to show up.
That's it.

Time...Flowing Like A River

Original Title: Time is (clearly) an illusion...

• Dec. 20th, 2007 at 9:36 PM

Why does my definition of time differ so greatly from the rest of the world?

I was supposed to work from 10-1 this past Saturday. 10-1 is my idea of 10-1, but everyone else's idea of 10-1 was 8:45-5:30.

The people were going to come around and clean my dryer vent between December 10th and 16th.

They did it on the 19th.

Clearly, 19 comes between 10 and 16 on this new timescale the universe seems to be operating on. Can someone please fill me in on what is happening?

Please?
Seriously?

One Of These Days I’m Going To Cut You Into Little Pieces

Original Title: A Dream Achieved

There is nothing better in this life than watching your arch-nemesis being cut into tiny pieces and thrown into a dumpster.
Ah Arby's lobby drink station, where shall I direct my rage now that you have been destroyed?
I was victorious, and that made my day!

They Write Me Letters, Tell Me I’m Great

Original Title - The Hell (15)

Imagine you are given $1,000,000 and told you must give it to one of the following political causes. Where do you donate the money?

• Right to free speech.
• Right to bear arms.
• Pro-choice causes.
• Anti-abortion causes.

I don't know. The right to arm bears would be pretty hilarious though...

I Spent Four Lonely Days In A Brown L.A. Haze

Original Title: Monday, Monday, Monday!

I found my torrent, and I now have my Zeppelin show.
Much happiness here. Also, get to not hear so much Christmas music on the morrow, because for two hours, I am subjecting my customers to a low to mid grade bootleg of the 12-10-07 Led Zeppelin show.
Why? Because that's how I roll!

Good Times…

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYGu1PWRPKc&feature=youtu.be

Edit: Yes, I am aware that the video does not exist anymore.

This Is My Story

Original Title - Biographical things

I am trying to decide on the title for my biography/autobiography. Just so that the hard part is done should someone ever decide to write it.
I have narrowed it down to:
"Scent Of A Jackass"
or
"Every Which Way But Lucid"
The latter being my personal favorite.