You Might Be A PumaMan If...
1. Your friend's father drives a Chevy; your father drives a large Christmas ornament.
2. Seventies' commercial music always comes on whenever you do ANYTHING.
3. Your best friend happens to be an Aztec onion with the habit of throwing people out windows.
4. You only sense danger when there ISN'T any.
5. Your weapon of choice: a plunger.
6. You've got a belt buckle big enough to make a Texan proud (I know, it's broad stereotype. My apologies to Texans.)
7. Your girlfriend has a mouth wider than a Japanese anime character, and sugar-frosted eyes to boot.
8. You've spent the last three months trying to get your best friend to remember your real name; he keeps calling you "Neil."
9. Crashing British fire trucks is a sport, as far as you're concerned.
10. Your sense of fashion is inspired by Big Bird and Alan Alda.
11. Even while swimming, you can still pull off the dry look.
12. The black, leather jumpsuits that your enemies wear made Mr. Blackwell realize that all his work has been for nothing.
13. When in an airplane, you insist to the flight attendant that the correct flying position is with your southern end in the air.
14. No matter how many restraining orders you get, you're STILL followed everywhere by Donald Pleasance.
15. Your science teacher was perplexed when the egg you dropped from the top of the school building fell at a sixty degree angle.
16. You consider JUMPING AROUND LIKE AN IDIOT an artform.