Well, I'm Running Down The Road, Trying To Loosen My Load

Today I came across a very nicely written (and surprisingly accurate!) description of the automotive engine I have come to love so much.

I will share it with you here:

Posted By: Wellington P Funk

Join Date: 09-12-2005

I've said it before, but the Jeep 4.0L engine is the toughest, least maintenance-demanding engine I have ever had personal experience with. Folks on the internet know that the Jeep 4.0L is durable, but they know little of its history.

The original Jeep 4.0L inline-six was hewn from a solid block of granite by lightning bolts. Its cylinders were bored by the Imperial Winds and its rotating assembly was balanced by the Scales of Justice. The Ancient Egyptians used Jeep 4.0L engines to move the blocks which built the Pyramids, only switching to slave labor when it was found to be cheaper than the olive oil used to fuel the engines. Scientists have ranked the Jeep 4.0L engine as one of the strongest forces of nature, racking right up there with tectonic plate shifts for its low-end torque, and being surpassed by hurricanes only for its comparatively low redline. Mechanics have found imprints of fossilized dinosaur bones in block castings, and serial numbers in Roman numerals are a common sight. The design of the 4.0L's fuel injection system has been traced to the archives of Leonardo DaVinci, and early manuscripts of Shakespeare plays have been used as head gaskets for this engine (which, incidentally, explains the gaps in Shakespeare's collected works as well as the 4.0L's tendancy [sic] to leak oil). The engine's ancient roots also explain its ability to run on some very non-conventional fuels (original translations of the Rosetta Stone include evidence of Jeep 4.0L engines running on ox blood) as well as lubrications (during the Middle Ages, Jeep 4.0L crankcases were often filled with barley, with no detrimental effect on power output). Historians maintain that the fall of the Roman Empire hinged on their inability to design a superior engine, and had the Titanic been powered by a 4.0L Jeep engine, 1912 might have been a much happier year. Yes, had early-20th-century naval engineers had a touch more foresight, the Jeep 4.0L may have saved mankind from ever having to endure Leonardo DiCaprio and Celene [sic] Dion in the same sitting.

The only weakness in this otherwise unstoppable force of nature? Emissions. Yes, the engine's design may have come from the hand of Zeus, and its exhaust note at full throttle may have reverberated along the rock formations of Arizona to forge the Grand Canyon, but by the year 2007 its crude emissions control (originally consisting of papyrus strips soaked in the tears of the young Tutankhaman [sic]) had become outmoded, and the legendary, nay Biblical force of the Jeep 4.0L was put to rest.

She Left Me Roses By The Stairs

Today was a bittersweet day...

It has been an extremely long time since anyone other than myself has done any work on this old thing.  Probably the last time was when the transmission crapped out in 2008. 

But since I'm moving in like two and a half weeks, it kind of needs to be transportable.  The ignition system is super sketchy.  I suspect some idiot of a college kid tried to hotwire it this past summer.

Ah well, we shall see what it ends up being.

Little Drops Of Rain Whisper On The Pain, Tears Of Loves Lost In The Days Gone By

   

I have noticed a disturbing trend about myself.  I no longer write.  It is a thing I have always enjoyed doing.  I no longer put a lot of serious thought into what I blog about.  Well starting last night that all changes!  So, without further delay...

So.

This is what it is like to be an adult.

For real.

I feel like I have spent the last eighteen years of my life just sort of coasting along.  Drifting aimlessly if you will.  There have been some bad times.  There have been some good times, there have been some downright rad times,

It is December.  The year is basically over at this point.  Sure, we have a bit more to go.  Sure, my "professional life" is supposed to be doing the crazy thing, but there is also the joy that is Christmas.  Even if it is buried in all the gobbledygook that society wants us to demands that we buy into.

There is, however more to my and my life.  A side that I haven't actually written anything about in recent memory.  Not online, not anywhere, honestly.

I haven't written about the whole "Getting Married" thing, and I certainly haven't written about the whole "Having A Kid" thing.  That last part, by the by, will be happening in the next one to two weeks.  Go figure, right?

Anyway, November ended on a pretty positive note.  The Friend I wrote about last night?  I actually managed to track her down and have a brief(ish) Facebook conversation with her.  Turns out her life is going pretty well, even if it is not what she was expecting either.

I have managed to get some of my goals checked off.  I bought a Jeep Wrangler in '03.  Still have the old beast, although she has definitely seen better days (and will again, I've no doubt).

I've done some traveling.  I've been to Florida, South Carolina, California, Ohio, Kentucky, Texas, Illinois, Arizona, New Mexico and Washington D.C.  Granted, Arizona and D.C. were nothing but airport stops, but hey, They count!

There were some unplanned things along the way too.  I basically got bored with life and joined the Army once.  Great fun, didn't pan out.

I've spent some time working at a liquor store.  Which has was both terrifying and interesting.

As for my employment history, I have decided that the best job I've ever had was Arby's.  It was less about the money and more about how much fun I had working with the people that were there.  I feel that was one of the best parts of my life.  Things were really rocking along, especially from '03 - '06.

But that time was not just about the Arby's Life.  There were other things going on too.  There were my Starbucks friends.  Only one of them that I know what happened to.  KCAndTheSunshineBand, if you ever read this, feel free to chime in and let me know how you fared.  I feel like someone once told me that you ended up somewhat north of here after you finished up with school, but that's about all I have.  You too, were one of the people I greatly admired and would love to follow up with all these years later, but I suspect that it is not to be.

In about 2010 I bought my first real camera and have been having a grand old time taking pictures.  There are some places I would love to go and see.  When I was in Texas a few years back, my roommate would not let me trespass on the site of the old Marfa Airfield.  Sad days.

Anyway, there is a lot more to life, but that is the abbreviated version.  Maybe about this time next year I will do this again.

Also, the world WILL be a much better place in 2016...Mystery Science Theater 3000 will be making it's triumphant return from the land of the dead!

I realize this has bounced around like a ping pong ball in a dryer, but it has been good for me.

Goodnight sweet readers, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

-Gale

I'm Packing My Bags For The Misty Mountains

And Help Me Understand The Best I Can

Former Title “Toasty”

have you had a violent moodswing today? tired

the sounds of Echoes ~ Pink Floyd

Would anyone like any toast?
That is as good a starting point as any.
I have this dilemma. I dislike seeing people I care for suffer. Be it their own neurosis, low self confidence, or some external force that is beyond their control. Have I been there? To an extent, yes. Have I had the exact same problems as any of these people?
No.
I did, at one point in the very distant past have issues with self confidence. Then I realized that people in general suck.
Have I had some mental issues? I came extremely close to having a complete breakdown a few years ago. That was a most unpleasant experience, and I don't recommend it at all. It was mostly due to lack of time to sleep.
And stress. Lots of that.
Had some serious stress points in my life a few years ago, That is more or less a thing of the past now. Between the father making a near miraculous recovery, a new job, and my realization of the sucky state of humanity as a whole, I have managed to rid myself of most of my stress.
What does this have to do with toast?
Why nothing at all, but that doesn't mean that I can't make a reference to the opening sequence of this, that is sure to be a long drawn out rambling post about nothingness in general.
I just wish there was some way that I could help my friends who are suffering from whatever it is that ails them, but, sadly, there is nothing I can do. I can not magically wave my hand and say "Bamf! you have a job!" or "Bamf! your life is good and sleep-filled!"
My strategy for making life bearable was to just start doing random and interesting things. Because, frankly, people tend to be wary of the unpredictable and strange. Which is, more or less me.
The people shy away from me at the store when I am looking at "Where's Waldo?" books in the aisle at 2 in the morning. The employees give me a wide berth when I am having an imaginary jungle adventure that ranges all over the store at 4 in the morning. The Wal-Mart people do not like having tennis balls thrown at them, Nor do they like it when you start a band with the instruments that they have lying about on display in the electronics section for no other reason than you are bored out of your skull.
Also, being mean to people who are stupid is another good hobby. Well, not so much good as entertaining. If you do it right they don't realize what the hell you are even doing. I live for that.
Also jumping out from some random place and making some random noise for no other reason than to scare the living hell out of a person.
Why?
Because that's how I roll!
Let's see. What else? My beloved Jeep is broken.
Still.
I blew the seal on the rear differential, and all of the lubricant ran out all over the roads. That makes me sad. I get to drive the Van From Hell until the Jeep makes it's triumphant return from the land of the dead.
Why do clowns make people laugh?
Why do people love puppy dogs?
Why do little blue midgets hit me with fish?
We're all doin' it, chum. That's what we do. We do it. Do what? Therein lies the mystery!
When you get in bed with evil incarnate, it always takes the covers.
Step one; I need an archenemy. The most powerful, deadly, and brilliant criminal mastermind I can find. Someone who will burn his fetid midnight oil hatching up a thousand plots to annihilate me. Someone within easy commuting distance would be a plus.
Now I need some nice bit of strangeness to tie the next passage to the last one. I don't quite know how to do that yet, but here goes nothing...
I know we have machines to do our bidding. Machines to make our lives easier, thus allowing us to become lazy. What happens when we start having machines to do our thinking too?
Wait...We have those already,,,It's called Television.
What happens when we have machines to believe things so we don't have to? Something like a robot who was a monk who did all our believing for us? What would happen to said monk after he started to get old and fall apart? Something like the following passage:
"So after a hectic week of believing that war was peace, that good was bad, that the moon was made of blue cheese, and that God needed a lot of money sent to a certain box number, the Monk started to believe that thirty-five percent of all tables were hermaphrodites, and then broke down."
Interesting to think about anyway. Just don't turn on the television when you do. In case you haven't noticed, me and the television, not the best of friends.
Overhead the albatross
Hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
An echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine.
And no one called us to the land
And no one knows the where's or why's.
Something stirs and something tries
Starts to climb toward the light.
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me.
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand
The best I can.
And no one called us to the land
And no one crosses there alive.
No one speaks and no one tries
No one flies around the sun....
Almost everyday you fall
Upon my waking eyes,
Inviting and inciting me
To rise.
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning.
And no one sings me lullabyes
And no one makes me close my eyes
So I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky....
Anyway, that seems long and rambling enough for this week. Come back next week for something even more bizarre and insane.
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!

It's A Great Day

Let's see.
Discovered that there was a new C&C collection out. Normally those do not interest me, but seeing as how it included every game, I had to buy it. On account that the first two were more or less DOS-specific. Went to Starbucks. Bought the game.

Then the tax check came. Went to the bank. Dealt with that. Went to the Starbucks.

Discovered that the crazy friend who moved to Colorado about 6 months back was back in town for a few days. Worked that one out when she ran up behind me and scared the hell out of me by grabbing on to me and holding on and being very excited(?) or just crazy for a few moments. Then she had to leave to go back to Colorado.

Went to the Target to buy the iPod. Discovered that cost more than I could spend on the card for any given day. Going to the bank to get cash monies to buy that mug early on in the morning.

Went home for awhile.

Went back out to the Starbucks. The favorite Katie in the whole universe (yes, she got promoted again) was not working. That, I assume, is because she has to work early in the morning (yay! get to see the Katie in the morning), so I was not too put out.

Went to the Meijer way far away from the home. Discovered that the ignition switch in the Jeep that I just had replaced went out. Sucketh. Got the ride from the brother.

It's a great day.

-Watch out for snakes!

Sittin' On This Bar Stool Talkin' Like A Damn Fool

Original Title: Much fun to be had

Whoo
I am painting my room. It was formerly white with water and smoke damage. It will soon be white with white. This makes me glad.

I am also attempting to download every epsiode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and burn them onto DVDs. My only regret so far is that I only got one spindle when the Target had them on sale for $15.98 per 50 pack.

Ah well. Time to go and eat something now because the paint fumes are making me high.

Also, the Jeep has a gas leak. Getting that fixed now. Fun stuff indeed.

Riders On The Storm

I am trying to get a top for my Jeep…

Just a little thing to keep about while driving about with no top, and the freak thunderstorm pops up.

Indiana's weather sucks, so ya know.

Little Drops Of Rain

Music: Page & Plant ~ Thank You
first off, i am typing this very blindly.  i can not sleep, and i am therefore not wearing my glasses, so bear with me here.
let us see.
tonight i stopped and helped some random strangers who were stranded on the road.  the kid hit a pothole and blew both tires on the passenger side of his car.  he only had the standard one spare, and no lug wrench, so i helped them push it out of the entrance of the parking lot where he stopped and into a parking space.  i hung around until the person they called for a ride showed up.  we messed about with the car a bit longer.  i put a jack under the front because leaving the rim sitting on the ground is not really smart.  yes, the tire was more or less completely gone.
that, combined with the events of saturday through tuesday made me realize that my Jeep is not invulnerable.  so, i spent some time tonight putting my tools back where they belong, finding my jack and putting it back where it goes, and adding 2 flashlights to the mix.  i need to get a folding 4-way lug wrench tomorrow, because i gave my other one to annie.  i have a 22 mm socket that will work, but i don't have a breaker bar and i don't want to subject my ratchet to that kind of abuse, if i can help it.  i have broken 2 of them, and this is the only one i have left.
my toolbox is so nifty,  it is a small army ammo box.  metal, watertight, seals nicely.  if fits perfectly between my seat and door in my Jeep.  i got it for fifty cents at a garage sale a few years ago.  i may need to come up with another because this one is almost full.  i will worry about that when i get the time and resources though.
and the tendonitis in my right elbow is making the typing so freaking difficult now, so goodnight kids.

It’s A Rig That Will Never Fail

the Jeep now has a muffler again.  it goes in a quiet and happy manner.  i am right back where from i started.
go me!
once mine birthday comes and goes, i will probably use the monies from that to begin doing things i want to do to the Jeep.  probably the frame for the top or new hinges or doors or something.  just small stuff to get it to where i eventually want it to be
well, goodnight kids

Sing, Sing, Sing!

I got a driveshaft
I got a driveshaft
I got a driveshaft
Hey hey hey hey

Got A CJ-5 With A 4 Wheel Drive (2)

also, while the thing was aimlessly spinning all over the world, it destroyed (read: beat the crap out of and then ripped off) the muffler.  I had just put that thing on there like 3 months ago!

Got A CJ-5 With A 4 Wheel Drive

The drive shaft fell off of Gale's much-loved Jeep tonight.  It would not have been as bad if Gale had not been in the middle of a busy intersection when it happened.  Gale singlehandedly pushed it along and got over into the right hand lane (while pushing) and had enough momentum to get it up the hill and into a hotel's parking lot.  It would have worked if some random man had not come up and started pulling it the other way.  Ah well. We got it.  Gale then proceeded to get it to work by pulling the shaft the rest of the way off and then putting it into 4WD.  The purpose served by that was to engage the non-broken driveshaft and render it operable once again.  Worked beautifully.  Until the transmission fluid started pouring out of where the rear shaft needed to be.  So, said Jeep is sitting at work right now and I shall be making my way up there very early in the morning to get it dealt with, one way or another.