Journey Of The Sorcerer

And why didn't anyone tell me?

• Current Location:Home, Home Again
• Current Mood: exhausted
• Current Music:Journey Of The Sorcerer ~ Eagles

Pack Up My Belongings

Original Title: Back in the day

• Oct. 12th, 2009 at 9:45 PM

"My strategy for making life bearable was to just start doing random and interesting things. Because, frankly, people tend to be wary of the unpredictable and strange. Which is, more or less me.

The people shy away from me at the store when I am looking at "Where's Waldo?" books in the aisle at 2 in the morning. The employees give me a wide berth when I am having an imaginary jungle adventure that ranges all over the store at 4 in the morning. The Wal-Mart people do not like having tennis balls thrown at them, Nor do they like it when you start a band with the instruments that they have lying about on display in the electronics section for no other reason than you are bored out of your skull."

I miss those days, I really do.

• Current Location:Work-A-Holic is me
• Current Mood: cold
• Current Music:Buzzing Electrics

And I Still Don't Seem To Care

The high point of my day thus so far I think involved either bowling on the Wii or finding the first couple of seasons of Pinky & The Brain for to make with the watching.

Also, I am two hundred pages into the book I started reading at about 11 this morning.  Hooray!

Off to the Starbucks (MY Starbucks, because it is amazing!), and then to return Sis-Tar's computer, sans iPod, to her.

Also, this:

Looking to Raise Money, U.S. Government to Begin Offering “Clunkers for Cash”

Washington, D.C. – Looking to raise money after exhausting their $1 billion appropriation, the Car Allowance Rebate System, more commonly known as “Cash for Clunkers” announced that they will now be implementing a “Clunkers for Cash” program that will allow Americans to buy “clunkers” back from the government for their full blue book value.Under the original plan, consumers could trade in an older, less fuel efficient vehicle and receive up to $4500 in vouchers toward the purchase of a new, more fuel efficient vehicle. This proved to be wildly popular, as the processing of claims on this plan began on July 24 and ran out of money a mere six days later. Congress initially asked for an additional $2 billion, but decided it would be a more profitable venture to just sell the clunkers back to the American public at full blue book value.

Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood told reporters, “Like a bunch of pussies, we initially went to congress for help. However, after adding up the blue book values of all the ‘clunkers’ we took in, we found out we could bring in over $10 billion if we flipped them, so that’s what we’ve decided to do.”
As part of the plan, the “clunkers” will be parked at State Capitol Buildings around the country and members of the U.S. House of Representatives will be sent home to act as salesmen for the cars. Negotiations on the sales commission they will receive are still ongoing.
Rep. Betty Sutton (D-Ohio), the house member who sponsored the original bill, was livid with the decision and lashed out at LaHood saying, “The whole idea of this program was to get these older, gas guzzling cars off our streets. By taking them in and re-selling them at a much higher rate than we paid for them is a complete travesty. It literally turns us into used car salesmen and entirely nullifies the positive environmental impact the plan was meant to have.”
Many consumers, however, appear to be siding with LaHood in the matter. Terry Schaaf, a life long citizen of Larely, couldn’t be happier, saying, “I’ve always felt there wasn’t a better family car out there than a 1976 Chevrolet Caprice Classic. It’s roomy, and at 4300 pounds, it’s tough to be on the wrong side of a collision in it. Because of that, I’m ok with paying a little extra for gas and the bottles of lead additive I need to mix with it.”
Sales of “clunkers” are set to begin August 15th.

• Current Location:Home, Home Again
• Current Mood: calm
• Current Music:Twilight Zone ~ Golden Earring

They're Laboratory Mice

I have an incomplete list on here in the distant past, but these always made me laugh.

So without further ado:

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels

Uh... yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?

Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career ... ooh, it's all too much for me.

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.

Sure, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size?

Uh, I think so, Brain, but we'll never get a monkey to use dental floss.

Uh, I think so Brain, but this time, you wear the tutu.

I think so, Brain, but culottes have a tendency to ride up so.

I think so, Brain, but if they called them "Sad Meals", kids wouldn't buy them!

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so, Brain, but this time *you* put the trousers on the chimp.

Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.

I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time.

Uh, I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent.

I think so, Brain, but I don't think Kay Ballard's in the union.

Yes, I am!

I think so, Brain, but, the Rockettes? I mean, it's mostly girls, isn't it?

Well, I think so -POIT- but *where* do you stick the feather and call it macaroni?

Well, I think so, Brain, but pantyhose are so uncomfortable in the summertime.

Well, I think so, Brain, but it's a miracle that this one grew back.

Well, I think so, Brain, but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart, wouldn't you?

Well, I think so, Brain, but "apply North Pole" to what?

I think so, Brain, but "Snowball for Windows"?

Well, I think so, Brain, but *snort* no, no, it's too stupid!

Umm, I think so, Don Cerebro, but, umm, why would Sophia Loren do a musical?

Umm, I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

Well, I think so Brain, but what if we stick to the seat covers?

I think so Brain, but if you replace the "P" with an "O", my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

Oooh, I think so Brain, but I think I'd rather eat the Macarana.

Well, I think so *hiccup*, but Kevin Costner with an English accent?

I think so, Brain, but don't you need a swimming pool to play Marco Polo?

Well, I think so, Brain, but do I really need two tongues?

I think so, Brain, but we're already naked.

We eat the box?

Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

I think so, Brain *NARF*, but don't camels spit a lot?

I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?

I think so, Brain, but Pete Rose? I mean, can we trust him?

I think so, Brain, but why would Peter Bogdanovich?

I think so, Brain, but isn't a cucumber that small called a gherkin?

I think so, Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies.

I think so, Larry, and um, Brain, but how can we get seven dwarves to shave their legs?

I think so, Brain, but calling it pu-pu platter? Huh, what were they thinking?

I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

I think so, Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?

I think so, Brain, but if we had a snowmobile, wouldn't it melt before summer?

I think so, Brain, but what kind of rides do they have in Fabioland?

I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

I think so, Brain, but three round meals a day wouldn't be as hard to swallow.

I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?

Umm, I think so, Brain, but three men in a tub? Ooh, that's unsanitary!

Yes, but why does the chicken cross the road, huh, if not for love?  (sigh)  I do not know.

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but I prefer Space Jelly.

Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but how will we get three pink flamingos into one pair of Capri pants?

"Snowball, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Oh Brain, I certainly hope so.

I think so, Brain, but Tuesday Weld isn't a complete sentence.

I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want to see Snow White and the Seven Samurai?

I think so, Brain, but then my name would be Thumby.

I think so, Brain, but I find scratching just makes it worse.

I think so, Brain, but shouldn't the bat boy be wearing a cape?

I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tongue?

Um, I think so, Brainie, but why would anyone want to Pierce Brosnan?

Methinks so, Brain, verily, but dost thou think Pete Rose by any other name would still smell as sweaty?

I think so, Brain, but wouldn't his movies be more suitable for children if he was named Jean-Claude van Darn?

Wuh, I think so, Brain, but will they let the Cranberry Dutchess stay in the Lincoln Bedroom?

I think so, Brain, but why does a forklift have to be so big if all it does is lift forks?

I think so, Brain, but if it was only supposed to be a three hour tour, why did the Howells bring all their money?

I think so, Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.

I think so, Brain, but if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, why does Elanore Roosevelt wear that spooky mask?

I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong?

"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
(Pinky)  Whoof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim Brain.
(Brain)  True.
(Pinky)  I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
(Brain)  To my knowledge, never.
(Pinky)  Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
(Brain)  Next to nil.
(Pinky)  Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
(Brain)  Therefore, you *are* pondering what I'm pondering.
(Pinky)  Poit, I guess I am!

• Current Mood: exhausted

It's Time For Dinner Now, Let's Go Eat

"What is the world coming to when Chicago can't fix an election anymore?" - Gov. Mitch Daniels on Chicago's getting shot down for the Olympics.

Ah, that made my day.  Some days I almost like living in my state.

Also, look at the street I have internets again!

• Current Location:United States, Indiana, Indianapolis
• Current Music:Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts ~ Merv Griffin