They are as follows:
I lie to people with clipboards.
If you come to my door trying to sell me something at 9pm, don't apologize for disturbing me so late. If you really were sorry to be doing it, you wouldn't be there in the first place.
I understand that common sense is not so common these days.
Please try to speak coherently. That you try is all I ask.
If you want me to sign a petition, I might just to make you go away. If I have to give you money to sign a petition supporting a cause that doesn't affect me at all, I will slam the door on you.
On matters of opinion, I think you are just as wrong as you think I am. Don't fruit out if I don't agree with you.
I would appreciate it if you extend the same courtesy to me that I extend to you.
If you have a license, but don't know how to drive, we can't be friends.
If you are driving, and you do something stupid, i.e. cut me off and almost get me killed, I WILL throw my drink at your shiny car if I have something handy. I do have a history of this.
If I explain something clearly and concisely to you, and you don't understand, don't treat me like I am stupid. Just ask, I will dumb it down to a second grade comprehension level just for you.
If I actually like you, you will know it.
If I don't like you, chances are you will know it.
If I am not feeling well and have no patience, I will give you fair warning. Anything else is on you.
No, I most likely have not seen that movie/television show/commercial you are asking me about. Yes, I am proud of that.
I already have a sufficiently low opinion of Humanity in general. Please don't make me lose any more faith, I don't want to have to cry myself to sleep.
- Current Location:The Place of Employment
