It's Been Ten Years, Half My Life

So.  It is 1am.

February 26, 2017.

What the hell am I doing?

I'm sitting here. Being stressed out for who knows why.

There are a lot of things in this world that I understand.  There are a lot of things in this world that I do not understand.  Chief among that latter list is me.  Plain and simple. I don't understand me.

I need to figure this shit out.  Like stat.

I have a wife.  I have a kid.  Rumor has it that I have another kid on the way. 

Hopefully this works out better than a few months ago, but that is another story for a different day.

It's been almost 34 years that I have been wandering on this planet.  If you go read through the archive here (well, eventually. I'm still missing several hundred entries from years past.), it would seem that my wanderings have mostly been aimless.

*NEWSFLASH*

They have been.

I honestly am not good at planning for a future.  I'm trying to start a business from home so I can quit the job I have now. Honestly, it is going rather well, I just feel like I don't have the time or motivation to work on it.  Take today for instance...I would rather research 15-20 year old Windows Operating Systems than work on my business.  Or work on my real job.

What is wrong with me?

I struggle to keep focused on whatever task is at hand in favor of whatever takes my interest at the time.

How much of that is exhaustion? Probably a lot.

Doesn't help that I feel like I've spent the better part of the last ten years getting dumber.  The wife said you tend to absorb the traits of the people you spend time with, and well...I've spent a lot of time with the people I work for.  Well.  Let's just say my feeling dumber and dumber with each passing day might not come as a shock.