Another Brick In The Wall Part 2

Original Title: History Of The Spork Pt. 2

Needless to say, young Forkifeller was able to kill this one. After many hours of aimless wandering, he was naturally a bit hungry, and seeing as how there will not be a restaurant on the planet for a few billion years more, he just plain out cooked and ate the bird. The details of the next few days are a bit sketchy. History does, however, show that Forkifeller was able to hitch a ride on a passing Knabtsrif freighter vessel. That is not so unlikely though, considering the massive trade route passing through that part of space.
What was unlikely, however, was their encountering a small scout ship floating in space. That would not be so odd, except for the fact that it was totally functional. We do know, that due to a loophole in interstellar salvaging laws, McSpooniker was able to claim the ship and continue the journey on his own. The details of his solo trip are totally and completely non-existent, and it picks up again when he reaches Ginantonnix.

While the small ship was waiting to be granted landing clearance in the 76132nd landing strip of the main spaceport of the planet Ginantonnix, the lynch mob took the liberty of appearing out of nowhere. The beings that the mob consisted of were well aware of that fact that McSpooniker had survived the unsurvivable Vortex, and that he was on his way home. They believed that he was going to do something else that was completely idiotic and stupid. He was, after all, single-handedly responsible for creating a debilitating illness that wiped out 27% of the population of the planet, and rendered another 39% sterile and insane.
There was also the Reverse - Magneto propulsion system he developed for spacecraft. The theory behind that was you feed the coordinates of the planet into the ship's computer, it then figures out the magnetic influx of the planet. The computer then alters the ship's polarity to be the opposite of the planet, thereby pulling it to the planet from any point in the known universe. In practice, however, it reverses the planet's magnetic alignment, and then the shock waves it creates proceed to destroy the afore-mentioned planet. He is also responsible for several major engineering catastrophes. The most famous of which is the Francieanian Pyramid Project.
Young McSpooniker had just had his medical license revoked due to unleashing the debilitating disease upon the unsuspecting planet. Fortunately he had an engineering degree to fall back upon. He started nosing around the solar system, and he soon found a job. The president of the planet Francies wanted to have a new mansion built. After careful examination of the requirements, and a very expensive meeting between himself, President Senate and the planet's most accredited psychiatrist, Forkifeller took the job. He could not figure out why anyone would want a mansion in the form of a pyramid, let alone a string of them.
He hired a group of scraggly creatures from the innermost of the inner city housing projects for several francs below the minimum wage, gave them simple wooden tools, and told them what to do with electric treeble whips. After many a year, the project was completed. On the day the mansion was commemorated, the fireworks ceremony somehow caused a ripple in the space - time continuum. McSpooniker was the only one who noticed though. He fled the planet right after he cashed the check. What he did not realize though, was just how final his finale would be.
He borrowed a bit of plasma from his spaceship's reactor, mixed it with a bit of baking soda, threw some vinegar in for good measure, added a fuse, and called it a firecracker. What happened though, was the tragedy that would distinguish his career as a promising engineer. The firecracker was lit. Once the fuse burned down, it exploded with a force so mighty, that it, combined with the ripple, blew the planet into millions of little fragments. It so turns out, that the asteroid containing the still intact pyramids collided with a nameless planet, whose life forms are so dense, that they claimed all the credit, and then buried their dead monarchs in them before anyone else had the chance to object.

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