We’ve Got To Install Microwave Ovens

Music: Heartbreaker ~ Led Zeppelin (BBC Sessions)
That's Why They Call It a DIEt
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I'm a vegetarian, which, as you know, means that I can't lift heavy objects without snapping my spine. I'm secure enough to admit that I'm pale, frail, and I love e-mail. (Hey, I think I just designed a t-shirt!) But there's a plus side to my eating habits: I'll live to the age of 200 unless I get trapped under something heavy, like a quilt. And unlike my mammal-eating friends, I don't have to decide what sort of hideous death I want every time I look at a menu.
For carnivores, there are two popular diet plans. The first one involves eating anything that can't outrun you, whether said object is capable of traversing your entire intestines or not. It's the most popular diet plan in America and it's catching on around the world. This group of eaters prefers as their method of demise the traditional, no-nonsense heart attack.
Then you have the low-carb dieters. This involves the active avoidance of life-giving antioxidants while scarfing massive amounts of known carcinogens until someone punches you to death for bragging about how much
weight you lost.
Some fast-trackers shed their mortal coil using such flashy methods as Mad Cow, e.Coli and whatnot, but I consider that grandstanding.
Evidently, what we need is a DNRC Diet Plan designed especially for Induhviduals. We need a volunteer to write a bestselling diet book that benefits everyone except the people who use the diet. For example, I think the diet plan should encourage the eating of whatever we think there's too much of: lawyers, pigeons, cigarette butts, and that sort of thing.
Your first reaction might be that no one will eat horrible things just because a diet book says you should. But I have a one-word response to your short-sighted thinking: sauce.
That's right, sauce. Most people think that cows are delicious, but they don't stop to think how much work went into changing the taste from its original cow flavor. Realistically, you wouldn't order any kind of food that was labeled "cow flavored." Fortunately, great cooks can disguise the flavor of anything. If you try to tell me that Emeril Lagasse can't make delicious chowder out of cigarette butts, then I say you haven't seen his show. The man is a miracle worker.
Then there is the issue of health and nutrition. Ha ha! Just kidding. But seriously, the sauce will make everything taste great.

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That's some great stuff right there. From the DNRC newsletter written by Scott Adams. I would offer to write that book!
Anyway, I apologize for my last entry, but 1) There was no computer handy and 2) I am happy with the overall appearance of it.
Gale can't write, but that's fine and dandy.
Anyway, I might get to color a picture tonight while I am working. If I do, I will post that here as a peace offering.
Goodnight Sweet Readera, And A Flight Of Angels To Sing Thee To Thy Rest.
-Gale