Friday, February 5, 2010

Last Time I Was Sober, Man I Felt Bad

Starbucks
My horoscope the other day said something about looking in a different place for some positive financial news. I just didn't know that that different place would be in the spam folder of an email account I never use!

IMMEDIATE CLAIM OF YOUR FUND ( FEDEX DELIVERY SERVICE)
...
From:  
FedEx Courier Service
...
Add to Contacts
To:       
FedEx Nigeria Head Office
70 International Airport Road
Mafoluku, Lagos.
Tel +234-704-1667-987
Date: January/2010

Attention: Dear Valued Beneficiary,

                                                CLAIM NOTIFICATION.

This is to notify you that your parcel is still in our possession, this
parcel contained an International Cashier Bank Draft/Cheque worth the sum
of $850,000.00(Eight Hundred Fifthy Thousand USA dollars)only and it is
ready for delivery to your door step. Meanwhile, before the delivery or
shipment will take place, you are advice to send to us the following
data’s mention below:

1. Your full Name :
2. Residential Address:
3. Private Telephone:

The above requested information’s will enable us deliver your parcel
correctly without any mistake or delivering your parcel to a wrong person.
Further more, you might be asking yourself how comes this email, cheque or
draft, Anyway, your cheque was brought to this office by a Lottery
Fiduciary Agent Or Claim Agent, signifying that you are a rightful winner
to their Lottery Award selected randomly from 10 lucky email addresses
which your email address is one of the lucky email address.

FedEx courier service company mailing you as per your parcel that was
brought to this company to be delivered to you by  lottery groups, along
the delivery process that brought a misunderstanding between you and the
lottery claim agent and in regards of their request as per their insurance
certificate cost, tax fee and lots of other universal cops and drug
searches which happened to be the course of your parcel being pending for
the past months/one year.

Meanwhile we are hereby happy to inform you that the FedEx Company has
finalized and resolved the whole issued with the legal offices like the
International Monetary of Funds(IMF),and the Internal Revenue Service(IRS)
office, the company organization has also listed 24 valuable parcel’s to
be intact in their office after the released of the parcel’s from
universal cops and drug searches.

We are happy to inform you once again that your parcel that contains the
sum of $850,000.00 is among the 24 parcel’s listed which is now in our
office and also with your name as the receiver despise that we lost your
private residential address’s, which is an indication that you can now
re-send your residential address, telephone as stated above back to the
FedEx company where your parcel can be delivered to you without
hesitation.

Meanwhile remember that the sender of this parcel to you that’s the
fiduciary agent still owes this company the sum of  $105 before the
incident occurs, Note that this fee is not just for delivery but with the
immigration and customs stamp duty, this company has spend out of their
incomes in the process by the recovering back your parcel? so dear
customer we once again appreciate your patronage in our favor.

Without hesitations you are to pay for just the balance left by your
sender since we have lost his contact. this payment have to be via western
union money transfer with the below payment information so that your
parcel can be delivered to your residential address before it accumulate a
demurrage after one week only,as you know your parcel is not just an
ordinary parcel but with a huge amount and I think you understand what I
mean by accumulating a demurrage? Which you will not allow that to happen
to your recovery parcel that almost gone if not for the love that the good
God have for you by favoring you with his favor because it was God who did
it not by your power but by the spirit say the lord.

We assure you that your parcel will arrive at your country in two days
time and it will get to your door step the third day as soon as this
company receive the balance left by your sender and the tracking number of
your parcel will be sent to you via e-mail immediately so that you can
track it yourself to see your parcel coming on the way and you will also
know when it will arrive at your country because we operate in trust and
loyalty in your favour. And also the FedEx Courier Service Company hereby
inform all their customers through this media by eradicating all their
communication with the scam mails that are going all-over the world be
careful with their e-mails so that your parcel will not be in danger with
their evil planes.

FedEx provides access to a growing global market place through a network
of supply chain, transportation, business and related information
services.

PAYMENT INFORMATION FOR THE IMMIGRATION AND CUSTOMS STAMP DUTY CHARGES
BEFORE DELIVERY EFFECT, FIND BELOW:

Receivers Name: Nick Brown.
Receivers Address: 217 Broad Street, Lagos-Nigeria.
Text Question: Who can save us?
Text Answer: Our lord only.
Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) -----------------
Amount to be sent: $105us dollars.
Please you have to send the full payment information including the MTCN
Number for we to fully proceed on your delivery

FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that
revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30
years, we've grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as
FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever.


Call me now: Tel +234-704-1667-987
E-mail: (fedexgroup_agent02@yahoo.com.hk)
Update Us With The Payment Of $105 dollars for the Customs and Immigration
Clearance and Stampt Duty So That We Can Proceed With The Delivery Today.


WAITING TO READ YOUR E-MAIL.
YOURS AFFECTIONATLY.
MR.JULIUS CROWN
Tel +234-704-1667-987
FEDEX COURIER MANAGING DIRECTOR..

Thursday, February 4, 2010

This Old Cocaine, It Makes, Makes Me Sick

Spike
*Disclaimer*


*If the following makes any kind of coherent sense to you, I feel very sorry for you. Very sorry indeed*

There has been much in the way of weirdness as of late.

Far too much.

el President`e is my new hero.

Goodnight, Moon!

On an unrelated note. I am listening to a song that is forty-two minutes and fifty-nine seconds long. It is thus so far amazing!

I met a DJ who lived in seclusion. Reality and sobriety were her only delusions.

Anyway. People I never planned on hearing from again popping up out of the woodwork like nothing is the matter.

Also, I bought a camera!
A real camera!
An old camera!
It runs on film. And mercury batteries. That last part is sort of a problem, what with those things being illegal 'round these parts these days.

Robert Plant singing "For What It's Worth" is quite amusing, as well.
And now for random survey things:

The 20 First Things That Come To Mind Survey:

pirates!!!
Arby's

mouth
Coffee

joke
Cuthbert Allgood

cheese
Pepperjack

aunt fanny
Got nothing

song
Cocaine

allie revelino!!!
¿Que pasa?

black
Cheese

potato
Dan Quayle

tomato
Attack of the Killer

cookies
Subway

clumsy
Chicken

buzz cuts
Apples

jonas brothers
I've been to the year 3000

score!!!!
Forty-Two

brocer docer brocer docer brocer dac! :)
Broken record

spanish
el President`e

:)
c:\

d<_>b
How do you get that backwards "b"?

this survey :)
Amusing


Do not know what some of this says about me.