Turn The Page

So the last couple of years I have been listening to audiobooks more frequently while I drive to and from work.


About a week and a half ago I started on the Harry Potter books.  I read the first one years and years ago, but I remember so little of it.


This comes of reading rather quickly and not being particular interested. But I figure now that I have a child who will, at some point in his young life, want to read them, I probably should.


So they are being read to me in audiobook format.  If I have time, I will pull out the actual book and pick up where the iPod has left off.  I must say.  They are more interesting to me this time through.  Although I have discovered that there is something about experiencing media through a medium that bypasses the optic nerve that I just find so much more engaging.


I have always been a fan of audio dramas.  Big Finish has done some wonderful stuff with Doctor Who over the years.  The BBC has done an amazing job adapting all five books in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy and both Dirk Gently books.


But that is just me.


I'm weird.

They Asked Us To Stay For Tea And Have Some Fun

With regard to my last post. I did not vote for the man. Nor did I vote for Hillary or Gary. I voted for the person who I felt was best for the job that was actually running. I was fully aware that my candidate of choice was not going to win. I was tired of the "a vote for a 3rd party is a vote for Hillary" rhetoric from the one side and "a vote for a 3rd party is a vote for Trump" rhetoric on the other. I feel that a vote for one of the two main candidtates just to keep the other out of office is a wasted vote. I also feel that a vote for a candidate that you do not feel is ideal for the job is a wasted vote. Is he my ideal president? No. But you are not going to see me chanting and protesting about it. You're not going to see me moving to Canada or Mexico or anywhere. I am not disparaging anyone for who they voted for. I am glad if your guy won, I am sorry if your gal/guy lost. That is what should make our system work. Diversity. We are a diverse nation, and we deserve a diverse government, but we'll see what happens. I, for one, will wait patiently for the next election and hope that America has woken up enough to be truly outraged and present the 2020 election with several outstanding, well qualified candidates. You will see me holding out hope for that day, but you probably won't see me holding my breath.

We're Just Two Lost Souls Swimming In A Fishbowl

Today was a very hard day.

We buried our youngest child this day.

He/She was miscarried sometime around ten weeks as best as we can tell. 

As I said the other day, it is very hard to know that there is a person that you created that you will never get to meet.

Anyway, it was a very small thing. Myself, my wife and her two youngest sisters.  We made a tiny coffin out of some white fabric and a little wooden keepsake box from Hobby Lobby, dug a hole under our youngest sister's tree, said a few words and buried our unborn baby.

 

It is not much, but I feel that we did right by our child.  Given that one of the other "acceptable options" was flushing it down the toilet.

I decided that the baby deserved something better than that, so there we have it.

Dear Child,

I want to let you know that despite the fact that you never got a shot in this big, bad world, you were, and always will be loved.

It hurts to know that we will never get to meet you, never get to teach you, never get to learn from you, never get to play with you, never get to see you grow up, never get to meet your older brother.

There is a very long list of things that begin with "never get to...", but "be loved by your family" will never be on that list.

After we buried you today, I got into the car and the song "Wish You Were Here" had just started. I am not ashamed to say that I cried.  I'm not ashamed to say that I came home and wept for a few minutes because I wish that you were here.

I cannot come up with a good way to end this letter, so...

I have loved you since the day you were conceived. 

-Your Father.

Night Divides The Day

It is amazing to think that my wife and I created a life that we will never get to have any part of.

No birthday parties, no laughing, no crying, no teaching, no having any sort of conversation with, no nothing. 

I understand this happens to people all the time, but that doesn't make it any less hard to cope with.  Doesn't make it hurt any less.

Doesn't help that the day before we found out for certain we watched a documentary about abortion.  That really hits me hard knowing that there are people (a surprisingly large number of them) that will willingly do this sort of thing to a baby.

"Oh, well it's not a baby until week so and so" is crappy logic.  You hear about the people who watch the baby try to get away from the doctor...Guess what...It is capable of knowing fear, of what is right and wrong, what is good and bad.  At the very least it has a sense of self preservation.

Think on that, America.

Think on that.

Time. Flowing Like A River

It's amazing how much you can take life for granted.

I never expected my grandparents to sell their home of 46 years in favor of a place that did not make them happy, but here we are.