Rebels Been Rebels Since I Don't Know When

Original Title: Men are women's fashion victims. Some of the hottest trends just confuse the poor guys

The majority of men have no sense of fashion, but some women pay a little too much attention to what's coming down the runway.
It's a little-known secret that although most men find the bodies of models attractive, they are completely baffled by their makeup, clothes and hairstyles. Women who adopt these trends may be surprised to find they are repelling those they are trying to attract.
Let's be clear: No one's begrudging anyone a no-fuss haircut or comfortable clothes. God knows men have perfected that art and have no right to pass judgment.
But if you spend a significant chunk of your free time prowling for men, you deserve to know that your new belly-button ring and those weird streaks you put in your hair aren't really turning us on.
Based on hours of unscientific polling, below are some of the fashion trends that puzzle men the most, in no particular order:
-- Peasant blouses: If you're wearing the peasant blouse strictly for comfort, good for you. Most men secretly dream of the day that it will be socially acceptable for guys to wear shirts with billowy sleeves. But if you're trying to attract men, you would be better off in a fluffy down parka. As far as most men are concerned, peasant blouses are a trend that can't go out of style too soon.
-- Little backpacks: The great thing about backpacks is they hold a lot of stuff. Buying a little backpack that will hold only your wallet and two aspirin is like buying a refrigerator that can fit only half a burrito and a can of Red Bull. Another problem with the little backpack: From a distance, it looks kind of like a normal-size backpack being worn by someone really, really big. You may be petite, but a potential suitor might mistakenly think you're 8 feet tall and weigh 550 pounds.
-- Chin-length bob haircuts: Short hair is totally sexy. Long hair is totally sexy. But very few men will honestly admit that they prefer the unfortunate hair limbo that is the chin-length bob. Popularized most recently by author Donna Tartt, "Survivor" contestant Erin Collins and the cast of the movie "Chicago," this haircut makes a shudder run through the spines of men when they see someone famous running around with it, because it might lead to their wife or girlfriend coming home with the same thing.
-- Boots with pointy toes: Giant black boots that come to a point at the toe are OK when you're dressing as the Wicked Witch of the West on Halloween. But on days when it's not socially acceptable to play dress-up, most guys are confused by this trend. Men are already perplexed by the female shoe fetish, so why confuse them any further by purchasing shoes that look like weapons? We all know your feet don't really come to a point at the end, and even if they did, we wouldn't find them particularly exciting.
-- Square thick-rimmed power glasses: At first, the whole sexy-librarian look was pretty hot. But somewhere between Lisa Loeb and Ashleigh Banfield, you went too far and lost us. Now all we think about when we see the square thick-rimmed power glasses is Clark Kent. If you have astigmatism, work part time as a welder or need a secret identity to fight crime, we promise not to hold it against you. For everyone else, feel free to stay away from the Buddy Holly section next time you head to LensCrafter.
-- Jennifer Aniston hair: Few people know this, but Jennifer Aniston was designed by a top-secret team of scientists in a successful attempt to create the perfect-looking woman in the eyes of a 15-year-old boy. The "Friends" star could shave her head bald and cover her dome with Thousand Island dressing, and she would still be one of the 10 hottest women on the planet. But although Aniston has had the occasional normal haircut in recent years, many of her looks have been intentionally goofy to prove that any ridiculous haircut looks good on her. Replicate them at your own risk.
-- Impossibly large fake breasts: This is not on the list strictly to curry favor. Fake breasts are OK if there's a sense of mystery. But when they're so big and spherical that people don't debate whether they're real anymore, it's time to leave some silicone behind for the future generations. When guys see a tiny-waisted woman with breasts that are impossible in nature, they don't think "Sexy!" They think, "There's a girl who's going to have back problems before she's 35!"
-- Anything worn by Sarah Jessica Parker on "Sex and the City": Pretend for a second that you're a man, and you see three women at a bar. Woman No. 1 is wearing a simple Audrey Hepburn-style black dress. Woman No. 2 is in a well- cut business suit with a white silk blouse. Woman No. 3 is wearing a pink tutu with white feathers pasted on the butt, a men's V-neck T-shirt and a cheap gold chain around her neck that says "Carrie."
Whom do you want to get to know better?
Commentary from the San Fransisco Chronicle. I completely agree.

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