By-Tor And The Snow Dog

Ordinary Paper Napkin (referred to as OPN from this point forth): Hello, I am an Ordinary Paper Napkin. Sitting here with me is Gale. Gale has agreed to spend some time talking to us tonight. So, Gale, how are you on this fine and wonderful evening?
Gale (referred to as Gale from this point forth): Quite crummy right now, thank you.
OPN: Would it be wrong of me to ask why you are feeling like you presently do?
Gale: Normally I would shun such questions, but I will make an exception for you.
OPN: Wow! That is so kind of you!
Gale: I have gotten roughly eight hours of good quality sleeptime in the last 3 days.
OPN: Ouch. I know how that goes!
Gale: Also the stress of working yourself to death in a crummy low-paying dead end job does not help matters.
OPN: I owe my very existance to some crummy low-paying dead end job somewhere, but I can and often do sympathize with those who are forced to work said jobs.
Gale: Thanks. You don't know how much that means to me.
OPN: We are here tonight becuase you have something important to say to the world. Is that correct?
Gale: Yes. Yes it is.
OPN: Well, Let's hear it!
Gale: *keels over and passes out due to exhaustion and fatigue
OPN: Well. That was certainly an interesting turn of events.
Gale is now known as Animate Corpse
Animate Corpse (referred to as AC from this point forth): Yes. That was quite unexpected. Anyway, as we were saying before.
OPN: Are you sure you are okay to go on with this charade?
AC: I have been through worse.
OPN: All righty then. Carry on if you wish.
AC: I would like to apolgize to those of you whom I will most probably not be speaking with tonight. Due to certain unforseen events, I am really not capable to hang about and say or do anything worth anyone's while.
OPN: That is quite depressing.
AC: I am not done yet. Shut up!
OPN: Right. Shutting up now.
AC: Good. Now, as I was saying. Being as I am, I feel really bad. I got my happy little self sent home early from work tonight for a reason. This kid is dead to the world. I apologize for the inconvience. I might very well get up and hop on here extremely early in the morning though. We shall see.
OPN: Are you done babbling yet?
AC: Almost. I also need to make one more thing clear.
OPN: What, pray tell is that?
AC: I have no problems using your super extra absorbent self to go and wipe up the pot of coffee I might just have to throw at you if you don't shut up.
OPN: Okay....umm...
AC: What?
OPN: I think that on that note, we shall call it a night.
OPN: Goodnight everybody!