Love (Cheese) Is All You Need

Dr. Fitzkee's Lucky Astrology Diet
The problem with the diets of today is that most women who do acieve that magic weight, seventy-six pounds, are still fat. Dr. Fitzkee's Lucky Astrology Diet is a sure-fire method of reducing with the added luxury that you never feel hungry.
Here's how the diet works:
Foods Allowed:
First Month: One egg
Second Month: A raisin
Third Month: Pumpkin pie with whipped cream and chocolate sauce.
If after the third month you haven't gotten to your dream weight, try lopping off parts of your body until those sales tip just right for you.