Original Title: Late night shopping is not all it's cracked up to be...
I left at 11:30 headed to meijer. Thinking to myself "it's 11:30. not too many sane people will be out shopping at this particularly ungodly late hour." I was rather mistaken. There were rather a lot of people in there. I bought a cd and a set of ink pens. The shortest line was actually probably the longest. That was because of the cashier was some old fossilized "thing" (i use those terms loosly) that looks to have been unearthed in the local rock quarry about the time the pharohs were importing hunks of rock into Egypt for the purpose of building them there new - fangled pyramids. The people in line in front of me had something like 3 things and a bag of catfood in a K - Mart bag. They paid for the 3 things, and then they attempted to return the catfood. The old woman slowly and patiently explained to them that they were at Meijer. The bag AND recipt stated quite clearly that the catfood originated at K - Mart, and were, therefore, expressly forbidden to do what they were attempting to do. The fiasco eventually ended up involving the store manager, a security guard or two and a little dark room somewhere in the catacombs of the Meijer office complex. I had, however, long since said "forget this" and took the liberty of hopping into the next line over. Which I might add emptied and proceeded to stay that way about 2 mins. After I got into the original one.
Then I commited an unforgivable mortal sin. I almost could not bring myself to write this particularly dark and bleak chapter of an otherwise dark and bleak shopping trip. I went to Wal - Mart. Oh God it's out. I am doomed. Anyway, back to the narrative.
I once saw a shirt somewhere that said White * Trash (as opposed to low * prices) Always. Making fun of that place. After last night I pretty much agree whole - heartedly. I walked into the store. the greeter was attempting to greet people amidst a sea of boxes that were blocking any forward movement in the main isle. I thought to myself "Oh good, I can't get through. Looks like I will have to go home. YAY!!" But then, off to the right, ever so slightly, there was this little path leading into the labyrinth beyond. I went. Big mistake.
I went first to the electronics department to find a DVD. It seemed that the electronics department had been moved since the last time I was in there. Conceivable really, considering the fact that I go in there so infrequently. Well, after a bit of aimless wandering, I had passed and marked the location of the grocery department, the automotive department, and the personal hygiene department. I was christmas shopping, so therefore, I naturally had to stop in each of those for people on various lists. Well, after I located the electronics department, and located what I was looking for, I moved onto the automotive department. When I got there, it was something totally different. The same happened with every one of those departments. So, I was in there wandering for far longer than I had ever planned. I eventually got everything, and then had a ghastly time in their checkout too.
The cashier was similar to the one before, but you knew where all of her joints were because they were the only places she was not fat. I don't know how that worked out, but I saw it with my own eyes. And nary a fork around to put said eyes out of their misery. Anyhoo, the woman in front of me had something like 4 dozen jars of babyfood. I think they were all the same. The cashier insisted upon ringing them up in-duh-vidually (thank you scott adams for making that word a frequent part of my already excessivly large vocabulary). So after finishing with that particular little bit of fun, The customer then wishes to buy something like a half - dozen boxes of cigarettes. After the old woman lethargically complies, and rings them up, she assumes the customer is done. Well, sir, that is about the time she whips out a coupon for each one of those boxes of cigarettes. The cashier then has to go and read each one of the coupons, despite the fact that they are identical. It hurts the cashier to read, I have it before. Sad really. She finally gets it though. And then my transaction takes about 12 and a half seconds. Much to the relief of myself, her, and the people in line behind me with 4 cans of Tang and a bunch of little glass thingamabobs. By the time i get out of Wal - Mart, it is 12:45.
So I decide to go find some food. The only thing that was open in the neighborhood was white castle. But instead, I went to the new one about 10 mins. further down the road.
It was remarkably clean. The only other customers in the store were the couple who looked like they were at any time going to duck under the table and either stage a gang war or start having sex. I ate quickly and then left very quickly too. My only complaint was the cashier. She was not old or stupid or anything. She was simply trying to flirt with me. Which after my shopping trip, I was not in the mood for, so I found a booth out of sight of the counter. She was staring at me the whole time she could see me. Damn it.
After that, I thought about going home, but instead took a bit of a detour through Downtown Indianapolis. It struck me as being only slightly less crowded and busy at 1:15 am then it would be at 7:30 pm. I went home shortly thereafter, and started wrapping the remainder of my christmas gifts.
Fun stuff there.
- Current Mood:rad
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